1986

I knew exactly what to wear: my black shirt with the big white polka dots, and my white pants with the little black polka dots. My mom had bought them from RAVE, my favorite store. My hair would be just perfect, and I had the best make-up idea from Seventeen.

I dialed my pink phone.

“Hello?”
Hi, Heather?”
“Yeah! Hi !”
“So what time are you going to pick me up tomorrow?”

We were going out to Akron, the town she had moved from just three months ago. It was the kind of place where kids went to 4-H meetings and wore cheap clothes from Ames. Heather still went to 4-H in our town, but at least now she had a sweater from The Limited.

“What are you going to wear?”
“ My pink Limited sweater.”

She was psyched when I told her about my polka-dot outfit.

“That’s so cool! Laura is gonna die!”

Laura was her old best friend from Akron. I imagined her with long, feathered hair, blue eyeshadow and really tight jeans. Heather told me that Laura already had a boyfriend. His name was Mike and he was older and had a job and a license. I bet he drove a Camero or something.

“So like, when we get there, what are you gonna say to Laura?”
“Oh, I dunno. I kinda thought I’d act all normal. But just talk about how cool Aurora is and be like, ‘Akron’s gay.’”
“Cool. We should act like we have boyfriends.”
“Yeah! Mine’s name will be Tim. What will yours be?
”Matt.”

Heather and her mom picked me up the next morning for the long drive out to Akron. I wondered if the highway would end and we’d have to drive down a dirt road or go past cow pastures. But Angie’s Roller Rink and Game Center was on a normal looking road with a bank and a Burger King across the street. Heather’s mom dropped us off and promised to be back at two.

Inside, there was a giant fluorescent Pac-Man on the wall and a disco ball in the middle of the skating rink. That stupid song by Jefferson Starship was blaring “We built this city….” I hated that song. We got our skates.

“These look dorky with my outfit.” They were totally spoiling my look.
The other kids there looked pretty normal. The girls were wearing stirrup pants and baggy sweaters, the boys weren’t skaters like the boys in Aurora, but they were cute.

Laura was in the corner with a couple of other girls. She was slight and pretty with long blond hair. I was at least five inches taller than she was.

“Hi Laura!” Heather said.
“Hi!.”
“This is Pam.”
“Hi!”
“Hi.”

I felt like a monster. I was still wearing my big winter coat because there was no where to put it. My hair had turned out frizzy and stupid. It was awkward.

“Come on, Heather. Let’s skate.” I said.

“Laura, do you want to skate with us?” Heather was trying to be nice, I didn’t know why though.

So the three of us make our way to the rink. Michael Jackson’s Thriller came on.

“Aw man, I love Michael Jackson!” I said. I started to skate backward.

“No way,” Laura said, “Boy George is way cuter.”

“Heather, I can’t believe you used to live here. I said. “There aren’t even any cute boys, like Tim and Matt.”

“Who are they?” asked Laura.

“They’re our boyfriends. See? Look at those two boys over there playing Asteroids. They’re like the cutest boys in here and Tim and Matt are waayyy cuter than that.”

Laura said she was tired, and went to sit down. We kept skating.

“So like, Heather. Do you know those boys? Do you liiiike them?”

“Ewwww. No! The one in the baseball hat, that’s Brian. He was in my class. And that’s Phillip next to him.” Brian was pretty cute. I kept looking over there every time we skated by. I thought maybe they were looking at me a little too.

We went to get some pop. Heather’s mom had given her enough money for two small pops, but I really wanted some candy too. It sucked.

And then I saw Brian get in line. He was getting pizza! I didn’t want to look over at him, but I really wanted to see if he was watching me. I could feel my cheeks getting red hot. I felt like I was standing strangely, like lopsided or something.

Heather ordered two small orange pops and I was embarrassed. What if Brian heard her asking for orange pop? He would think I was poor or something. I tried to act really cool as I took my pop from the concession man. I wanted to look like I didn’t even care about the pop. I stood up tall and tried to swiveled around on my heel and walk away. But the man wouldn’t let go! I gave him a dirty look.

“Say “thank you’,” he said. He raised his eyebrows and waited.

“Thank you,” I said quietly.

I got away quickly and sat down. Laura and some other girls must have seen the whole thing. They were whispering and giggling and walking toward the video arcade. Heather didn’t say anything.

“Oh my god, I’m sooo embarrassed!”

“No one saw,” she said.

“I’m going to die! Is it almost time for you mom to get here? I hate this place. It’s boring.”

“It’s only one o’clock. We have another hour.”

I hated my outfit, I hated my stupid hair. I hated this stupid town. I wasn’t even sure Heather was the greatest friend. She only had one Limited sweater after all.