I am a creative leader who lives to share ideas and new approaches.
I'm supposed to say that to myself 100 times a day. It's the exercise this month for my leadership workshop. It's supposed to help me shift my personal paradigm.
I won't get into what exactly that all means, but what I do want to share is this powerful insight I had this morning as I was driving to work. I don't know if my 100-times-a-day saying had anything to do with its arrival, but I think having it in the mix in my head might have helped.
I was cruising along listening to that song by John Lennon's son, Julian, thinking about how much it reminded me of these three guys I went to high school with. They were music fanatics. They all played several instruments, did whatever they could to play, whenever they could, wrote their own music. These were the guys at the party who sat and played the piano and sang harmony while everyone else was playing quarters and getting smashed. They were passionate about music.
And then I thought about myself in contrast. I was in band. I played the oboe, and I liked it, but I was mediocre at best. I rarely practiced. I thought being in band was fun, but I never dedicated myself to being excellent at music.
And then here's what I thought: "But that's because my mom wanted me to play the oboe." And that's when I stopped. Holy crap.
See, for a long time, I've had this story about myself. I'm a renaissance woman. I'm good at many things. But I don't really have the passion and determination that some people do to focus and be great at one thing. It's the excuse I gave myself when I left grad school. It's the reason I give myself about why it's so hard for me to get writing done. I like too many things. I get distracted by gardening, or running.
Some of those things I am truly passionate about. But how many of those things am I doing because I feel like I should do them, rather than because I love to do them? Am I really a renaissance woman, or am I just copping out? If I go to the places where I'm naturally drawn, and give myself permission to leave those other places behind, then what can I accomplish?
1 comment:
Oboe epiphany?
I get caught up in my self description sometimes. I am an engineer. Well, that is true by education but I am not working in that field right now. It took me years to let go of that self description. That was because it impressed my parents. I kept using it as a descriptor long after it really fit.
I am still an engineer and you are still an oboe player and but those are just pieces of a lifelong puzzle. What is the best way to describe who I am today? What is the best way to describe you? Maybe it is the thing you are saying 100 times a day to yourself.
I feel like I need to write myself a new tagline. And then I need to say it 100 times a day to myself.
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